Utterances of Ambition: Entry 1

Sick of being sick. Tired of being tired. Disgusted with complaining of complacency. Change it. Here am I again writing about the same thing. Ambition. Funny enough I feel the most inspired when I'm tired. Even as I make moves to be come the best me, the best me doesn't seem to show herself soon enough. Then the fear creeps in. I have no shame in confessing that I am afraid; scared of being trapped in bullshit corporate America, feeling like I've become a financial slave to system, scared that the mundane nature of my day to day existence is slowly draining every ounce of creativity from my body. Mediocrity seems to be like a virus. You can run from and it try to guard yourself like an hypochondriac, obsessing, watching, and avoiding. But sooner or later, it catches you or rather you catch it and it spreads through every part of your body, every facet of your existence, until you look in the mirror and see a sorry reflection of your former self. I, for one, am not about that life. I will not allow my dreams to wither away like the esteem of a battered woman or go up in smoke like the agenda of a dope fiend. I won't be consumed by complacency and dwell in like a potent potion. I will refrain from sulking in the pity parties of one. I will not complain. I will not hesitate. I will not doubt. I will accomplish. I will achieve. I will be great. There is no other option.

In [HEAVY] Rotation

Remember how you felt when you first heard Yeezy on College Dropout?

I do. Every track made me shiver. I couldn't wait to quote every line on my facebook myspace page.

It's funny to me that Cole fashion's himself after Jay-Z. Not to say, I disagree, but his talent, his hunger, and his ambition reminds me more of a young Kanye, before the celebrity and the white women.

When I first listened to the leak of Cole World: A Sideline Story (yea, yea, yea, I know, I should have waited), I got the same feeling as I did as 10th grader listening to Kanye for the first time. Dopeness.

The fear I had for Cole was the same as the fear that was fulfilled by Drake. Will his album live up to his mixtapes? Where Drake failed, J. Cole has succeeded.

"This is for all the fans that waited. Bitch niggas that hated. Old hoes we dated. Look mama, we made it." - "Nobody's Perfect"

J Cole is the competition. His story telling is phenomenal and Cole World put it on exhibit.

As a producer he is extremely talented, not the best, but he's coming for the greats. Yea, he's drum kits are kinda similar on a few tracks, but he has regal sound to his beats that I haven't heard from many producers today.

From the intro track, Cole leads you through his "signing day" story in a very Kanye-esq fashion, which contributes to the overall message of the joint. From the sideline to the spotlight.

The only major problems I have with Cole's album (and this is probably my own fault for listening to the leak) are the missing tracks.

When I purchased my hard copy on Cole World, I was shocked to see that my favorite song from the leak "Daddy's Little Girls" was left off the album. I personally wish, Cole would have saved some of his mixtapes for the actual album (i.e. Who Dat, Bring Em In).

You of little faith should not be distracted by the familiarity of some of the songs on the track list for Cole World. Yes, "Lights Please", "In the Morning" and "Lost Ones" have found their way from the mixtapes to the official release. And you die hard Cole fans will be may not be happy to see Jermaine's more commercial track "Work Out" was included as bonus track. Nevertheless, the CD is solid.

J. Cole wasn't too thirsty for features on his solo project, like other artist seem to be on their freshmen joint. His lyricism stands alone. You can distinctly identify a Cole track, unlike Drake who let everybody and their mama lead adlibs on Thank Me Later.

But back to the topic at hand. The award for best feature is goes to Missy Elliot on "Nobody's Perfect". This joint is very reminiscent of my favorite track from Friday Night Light, "Best Friends". Missy came for vengeance on the hook. The shit is disgusting.

I have to say Hov left Jermaine hanging on this album. His feature on "Mr. Nice Watch" isn't quite single worthy. His best contribution to the album was not his verse, but his appearance on the "Rise & Shine" interlude. But Young Simba doesn't seem to be bother by it.

"I made it to the roc, even though they tried to box me out
I got the key to the game, they tried to lock me out
But what they don't understand is this is all plan
It's a bigger picture and you can't photoshop me out
Some nigga ask me why jay never shout me out
Like I'm supposed to give a fuck " - Sideline Story

Overall, Cole World: A Sideline Story is probably the best freshmen project I've heard in a long time. J. Cole is beating out Big Sean, Drake & Wale as far as freshmen LPs are concerned. I'm ready to sit back and watch this pawn become a king. Cole World.

My favorite tracks

Nobody's Perfect
Cole World
Rise & Shine
Can't Get Enough (second single)
Daddy's Little Girl (itunes bonus)

An Epigraph

So easily we fall into the depths of ourselves
Drowned by tears of self-loathing
Weakened by the blood of personal iniquity
Chilled by the breeze of our passionless journey
Suffocated by the flames of our infinite anger
So easily we die to ourselves
No resurrection day for poor me
Forever in our grave clothes
Mummified and laid on an altar of an egotism
Dead is the man we once knew
Until the day we are born a new
We must die daily to ourselves

Doomsday Charge: Live like tomorrow isn't promised

The Artistic Woes: Fear

''The black artist is dangerous. Black art controls the "Negro's" reality, negates negative influences, and creates positive images.'' – Sonia Sanchez

Creativity to an artist is both a gift and burden. While we are blessed with the talent to radically impact the status quo, we are obligated to be equally innovative and revolutionary in our impact. If your work is not different, you have failed to complete your creative burden. And I think for this very reason is why I’ve take such a sabbatical from writing.

The greater fear for me, as Marianne Williamson would say, is not being inadequate, but is being powerful beyond measure. Because I understand the magnitude of influence that any artist has, I have grown leery of the pen and paper. I want to be responsible for the definitive work. I don’t want my generational legacy to be that of a Travis Porter who will forever be known in history as the one who “made it rain trick”.

But I refuse to allow fear to stagnate my potential of greatness, because the definitive work does not come easy. It must be sought out. So I’m mentally preparing myself to lace of my metaphoric shoes, and chase the possibilities of my craft and fulfill my creative burden.

These are the woes of an artist.

..join the movement

[Arrogant Resolutions] #1: Mythbusters: “N*ggas Ain’t Sh*t

Arrogant Resolution #1: Mythbusters: “N*ggas Ain’t Sh*t

I’m sorry to break the news to all the women who have grown up believe this principle but it is definitely a myth.

I never had a “niggas ain’t shit” moment until I allowed myself to be treated like I wasn’t shit. You may not believe this, but it is scientific fact, the law of attraction is very real. Psychologically, you have accepted being lesser than your actual worth, and so you begin to attract people who treat to you accordingly. This rule doesn’t just apply to dating, but it applies to all the people who are around you. The value you put on yourself is in direct correlation with the people in your life. You are around “not shit” people because you accept it.

If you grow complacent and accept that you have mediocre friends, you will always have mediocre friends. If you accept that you always have unsuccessful relationships, you will always have unsuccessful relationships. It is not until you challenge yourself and decide that you want more, that more will come to you.

So in 2011, I challenge you to resolve to hold yourself at a higher standard. Do not accept people into your life who treat you like less than you are worth and don’t continue to give your all to people who are giving back into your life.

Try this: Make a list of the character traits you want in friends, business acquaintances, and a significant other. Stray away from “I want a 6 foot 7 stallion” but focus more on qualities like being dependable, and ambitious. And make a conscious decision to distance yourself from people who don’t have those qualities. I promise that if you believe that you deserve these sort of people in your life, they will begin to come to you.

Make an Arrogant Resolution in 2011.

When Confidence Is Not Enough: Arrogant Images 2011

Excellence is the ability to perform at a high level over and over again.

- Shawn Corey Carter

In 2011, I've resolved to push my creativity and increase my hustle. Ambition is nothing without drive. #NoDaysoff

Become a Fan of Arrogant Images
contact: arrogantimages@gmail.com

Bring Your A Game

I needed to share this. Black men need a game plan. You are fathers of this Earth & you need to rule again.


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#foodforthought

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Thought of the Day: 12.14.2010

Ambitious Girl: Thoughts on success, passion & ambition. Pt. I

#nowplaying J. Cole - “Blow Up”

If you asked me 15 years ago what I wanted to be when I grow up, and you asked me today, my answer is the same: Oprah & the President. Sucks for you if you lost your ambition.

I’ve accepted that my life plan is an unconventional one. Unlike my colleagues, I never took the college seriously. Academia never really impressed me and I’ve never equated a degree to the key to success. I’m convinced that at the end of the day my talent and ambition would carry me farther than a degree will. Thus I’ve continued through my 4 plus years of undergrad seeking the degree only as step ladder that leads up to a door where my talent and perseverance are the key.

I’ve never been able to concretely wrap my mind around the conventional successful lifestyle that everyone else seems to be so enthralled with. I don’t want to start at the bottom and work my way to the top. I’ve never desired the standard corporate job with the pension plan and benefits. I could care less about making it suburbia. You can save the mini-van, soccer games and 2.5 kids for some other woman. I’m not your Stepford wife.

I don’t mean to knock the conventional lifestyle if that’s what you want, I just want it be clear that it’s not for me. Just know that this blog is dedicated to those, in the words of J. Cole, those who are satisfied with secondary and the sister who are satisfied with secretary.

So since I’ve abandoned the “by the book” approach to success, baffling my friends who are fighting to secure entry level positions with “room for advancement”, and successfully convincing my mother that I will amount to nothing, I’ve found myself that more motivate to reach the overly ambitious goals in life I’ve set for myself. So the “ambitious girl” grind has not only become one motivated by passion, but one equally as propelled by pride. Failure is not an option.

As the dreams of an 8 year old have morphed in the 10 year plan of 22 year, I’ve realized that my personal success is a direct correlation to my happiness. Making a lot of money by any means necessary isn’t my desire in the least bit. However if wealth comes hand in hand with me living out my dreams and expressing my God given gifts, I won’t complain.

I won’t be happy unless I wear many hats.

I honestly can say I wasted too many years trying to narrow down a career path, weighing which skill was more important than the other, deciding which talent would be more lucrative than the other. And finally, I asked myself, why can’t I do it all. Wanting to be Oprah and the President has evolved into working towards being a media mogul, a publicist, a politician and activist, a motivational speaker, an author, and a CEO… bitch! (in Sean Parker Voice) . My passions equal my paycheck and will subsequently render happiness and success in my eyes.

However, the sad irony as write this exposition defying convention, I am toggling screens back and forth between it and an essay for my Women’s Studies class final. Here come’s convention creeping back in.

To be continued…

J. Cole - "Blow Up" from the mixtape Friday Night Lights

World Aids Day 2010

African Americans account for nearly half of the newly reported HIV cases in the United States

At some point in their lifetimes, 1 in 16 black men will be diagnosed with HIV infection, as will 1 in 30 black women

The rate of new HIV infection for black women was nearly 15 times as high as that of white women and nearly 4 times that of Hispanic/Latina women

protect yourself. know your status. fights aids.

Pledge your support
Find testing in your area

The Art of StoryTelling Pt. V: A Manifesto

I wrote this in 2008 for autobiographical class I was enrolled in. I think I've definitely developed as writer since I wrote this but I decided to now because the words are still so relevant to my life. I just want this do be the prequel to the series I'm doing on Ambition in the coming weeks... STAY TUNED

Manifesto: a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issue

I count four times. The first two times I tried, I didn’t go that far. Ghetto Dreams is just down the street on West Bellfort. The second time, I rode all the way to the north side of town to Dago’s. The last time, I just bailed on Kelsey, so I really can’t tell you where Addicted to Ink is. That makes four times in the past two years I’ve been to various tattoo parlors across Houston attempting to get Philippians 1:6 tattooed on my left foot. I’ve been in the chair twice and changed my mind. This is after 2 years of deciding what I wanted my tattoo to say, and a year of deciding where I wanted it.




Philippians 1:6 reads "for I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it” in the New International Version. The Message bible reads” there has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” I fell in love with the first translation my senior year in high school, and by the time I finished the year, the second translation captured my heart forever. This is when I passionately decided I wanted to tattoo my newly found axiom of life on my foot, so as I made my journey down the long road of life, the Lord can guide my path and keep me on his plan.

Ironically my fear to take the step of getting this tattoo parallels my life. As I’ve matured, I’ve begun to understand what Marianne Williamson meant when she said “our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” But I wouldn’t call what I have a fear . Fears are reserved for people who don’t like spiders or are afraid of the dark. I have a full blow horrific terror that I was destined to do a host of great things and accomplish a multitude of achievements and will fall terribly short of completing that destiny. First I fault Kanye West for the perpetuation of this fear in my life. Sometimes I can’t listen to the lyrics of his song “All Falls Down” without bursting into tears.


“Man I promise, she's so self conscious
She has no idea what she's doing in college
That major that she majored in don't make no money
But she won't drop out, her parents will look at her funny
Now, tell me that ain't insecure
The concept of school seems so secure
Sophomore three years ain’t picked a career
She like eff it, I'll just stay down here and do hair
Cause that's enough money to buy her a few pairs of new Airs
Cause her baby daddy don't really care
She's so precious with the peer pressure
Couldn't afford a car so she named her daughter Alexus (a Lexus)
She had hair so long that it looked like weave
Then she cut it all off now she look like Eve
And she be dealing with some issues that you can't believe
Single black female addicted to retail and well”
–Kanye West, “All Falls Down”



And while I’m sure thousands of college students across the country have felt like this at some point, I feel like this man has been tapping my phone calls, text message, hacking into my Facebook and reading my mind. I am that girl who barely has enough money to pay her rent, but her closet is overflowing with clothes with the tags still on them. I’m the girl who has millions of passions but cannot seem to translate them into one specific major and definitely not a career. And sadly I am the girl who has an enormous amount of talents ranging from graphic design to styling hair and really hasn’t benefited from anything.

I am what I’ve began to call the “self-conscious self-confident”. In all this I don’t get down on myself, because I am also confident in the plans God has for me, but I’m scared to death that it must just take a rapture from heaven for them to come into fruition. I think my confidence exudes from me. It’s pouring out of me in such a large amount that is often confused with arrogance. I’ve been called arrogant on many occasions by everyone; friends, former friends, and foes. I really hate the word arrogance because it’s always connected with superiority and the awful disease we know as narcissism. I am not arrogant. I don’t put myself on any pedestal on which I look down on my peers as if they are my subjects. I simply understand that greatness is hidden deep inside of all of us, and I’ve embraced the task of finding it and releasing it. So I have adopted yet another Kanye West quote as a part my self motivation.

“Some say he’s arrogant.
Can you blame him?
It was straight embarrassing how the played him.
I could let you dream killers kill my self-esteem
or I could use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams”
– Kanye West “Last Call”



When I was about ten years old, a visiting minister at my church called me and my mother to the altar to give us a word of prophecy. He told my mother to invest in a computer for me because something great would come from my hands. His words replay in my head almost as often as my mother replayed the tape of sermon after we got home. I believe in prophetic gifts from the people of God, and I also believe in the power our words have. Thus, I’ve accepted his proclamation over my life, and I believe it.

But as I sit here typing on my mother’s investment, I am still waiting on the manifestation of those words. My beliefs are simple. I believe in the power of God. I believe that in His infinite wisdom and undying love for us that he set forth a great purpose and destiny for each of us. I believe that He works through us and therefore we have the power to fulfill that destiny. I believe that because I am made in the image and likeness of a powerful, beautiful God I am entitled to operate with all the power he has. Thus, I have to let my faith in my beliefs prove strong and continue to believe that God will be faithful to complete the great works he began in me.

So I ask myself, “who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world we are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. “-Marianne Williamson

Maybe the fifth time will be the charm.

[My] Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Your words were a hyperbole
Wrapped in passion
Magnified by lust
Masquerading as love
And I believed the exaggeration
I dreamed the larger than life fallacy in which the impossible you and me could exist
A Dark Fantasy
Instead everyday I awake to this
A sad reality

Can love not handle me?
It seems that our endeavors together always end in tragedy
And I’ve never seemed to experience its Power
Never has it been able to rapture me
But in my dreams I’ve been caught up
Engulfed in All of the Lights
And as soon as my emotions begin to take flight
I wake up
Back to living this Hell of a Life

Am I a Monster to you?
Unfit for affection
Lacking beauty
Not Gorgeous enough for your connection?
For so long you allowed me to misunderstand
With no correction
But as soon as the passionate fire begins to boil over like convection
You Runaway
Leaving me open and alone
With no protection

But because I am the dreamer I play the Blame Game with myself
Casting me as the villain
Being content with playing the role of the Devil in a New Dress
And with my mouth lies I confess
“I couldn’t haven’t the best”
“I don’t want you to settle for less”
And in my mind I am So Appalled not only by these words
But that to them you don’t even attempt to correct

And I’ve grown to expect nothing more and nothing less
Because your words are only words
Even at their best
Though they were a hyperbole
Wrapped in passion
Magnified by lust
Masquerading as love
And I still believed the exaggeration
Because I am Lost In the World
A dream world where only our love could happen
And I will continue to dream the larger than life fallacy in which the impossible you and me could exist
Because this is My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy




Needless to say, I thought the album was dope. Well more than dope, more like EPIC, actually something like a masterpiece. Hats off to Sir Kanye West.

#Nowplaying Ambition

1. Wale - “Ambitious Girl”

2. SOS Music Group featuring Nique - “Overdriven”

3. Jay Electronica featuring Jay-Z “Shiny Suit Theory”

4. Kanye West featuring Pusha T, Big Sean, Cyhi Da Prynce, J. Cole “Looking for Trouble”

5. Kanye West featuring Kid Cudi & Raekwon- Gorgeous

6.J Cole - “Premeditated Murder”

7. Jay-Z - “American Gangster (title track to American Gangster the album)”

8. J Cole - “Unabomber”

9. The Niceguys - “10,000 Hours”

10. Lupe Fiasco featuring Young Jeezy, & T.I. – “Superstar Remix”

11. Outkast – “Elevators”

12. Andre 300 – “Life and times of Andre Benjamin pt. I”

13. J Cole – “Dollar and a Dream”

14. SOS Music Group “We got this”

15. Kanye West featuring Brandy – “Bring Me Down”

16. Wale – “The Power”

17. Kanye West featuring GLC & Consequence) “Spaceship”

18. Jay-Z featuring Pharell – “So Ambitious”

19. Drake- “Fear”

20. Kanye West “I wonder”

21. Lauryn Hill “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”

22. Drake featuring Andreena Mills- “Closer to my Dreams”

23. Kanye West - "Last Call"



SOS Music "Thought Experiment download

Eyes Wide Shut

Legs wide open
Eyes wide shut
Some things are deeper than the feeling in your gut
She’s living for the thrill of the night
Longing for something to make her body feel right
Priding herself on the area that supposedly so tight
So she stands in the spotlight every night, in every dark club
And yes, the DJ does always show her love
Cause she’s the best late night hype
She’s clothed and fitted to the tee
She’s every man’s dream
She can make you think she’s who you want to be
Supposedly, the definition of beauty, style, and class
But her fans see nothing but that ass
And it can only be assumed that good girls finish last

But her legs are wide open
And eyes wide shut
Some things are deeper than the feeling in your gut
Her body is a temple and everyone is a priest
They sit down at her table to feast
Pass a breast, pass a thigh
Worthwhile guys pass her by
But the others don’t care
They continue to contributed to the wear and tear
Never do they dare to take her home
She will never share the thrown
She is always left in a pool of herself, alone
She can’t phone home
She’s too embarrassed of all she’s done wrong
She’s scared she will be placed on the stake to burn
Their respect can never be re-earned
Now she is stuck with a scarlet letter stain
And forced to carry around the burden that is her pain

Sadly, her legs are wide open
Eyes wide shut
Some things are deeper than the feeling in your gut
Self-esteem has disappeared
Her fear in God has not been revered
Her reputation has been smeared
She is the accumulation of her worst fears
A loveless beauty
A lifeless spirit
She’s crying out and no one hears it




#nowplaying Jill Scott "Epiphany"

[black] girl pt. II

I am vanilla bean
Coffee cream
Chesnutt
Peanut butter
Caramel drop

Mocha latte
dark chocolate and everything flavor and shade in between

I am you full lipped
Thick hipped
Wide nosed with a
Booty that makes you stop and say hello

I am your bow legged
pigeon toed
Twisting my hips
Walking with a switch
Snapping my fingers and pumping my fist

I’m what they call thick

My body curves like cursive words

Evoking curse words from everybody who see it

I am your Shaniqua’s , your Cheyenne’s
Your Nefertiti’s , your Nicole’s
Your Keisha, and your Kennedy
I’m your Williams, Jacksons, Jenkins, Abdul’s, Mohammad’s, and your Winfrey’s

I’m your “that boy ain’t shhhhh!”
And “girrrrrrrl you betta quick!”

I’m your little sister
I’m your tacky auntie
I’m your best friend
I’m that other woman who took your man
I’m the grandma, I’m the cousin, I’m the baby’s mama and the child too

I’m that updo
I’m the braids
The jerri curl

The tapered fade
The natural waves
The big fro
And the hair weave that goes for days

I’m your confidant
Your sorority sister
Your hairdresser
And your favorite singer

I am that head scarf and house coat
Fitted tees & tight jeans
I’m the manicured nails
I’m driving that hoopty that never fails

And I’m pushing that range rover smelling like Chanel

I’m a dancer
I’m your cook

I’m the definition sexy,

I read and wrote the book

I’m eloquent enough for any Alpha

I’m sultry enough for any Nupe

I’m nasty enough for any Que

I’m crunk enough for any Sigma

I’m Iota radical, I coulda been a centaur too

I was your queen and your slave

I’m the great gorgeous Cleopatra

and Aunt Jemima with durags and 2 braids
I’m your forefathers who paved the way

I’m your celebrity
And your senator

I am your Oscar award winner

I’m your first lady
And the first lady
I’m the mother of earth

From my womb all nations were birthed

I’ve shed your tears
I’ve lived your fears
I am a life changer
I am the cultural re-arranger

I’m your doctor
I’m your lawyer
I’m you deep thinker
I’m your white wine drinker

I’m your ambitious girl

Forget what you’ve heard

I’m not your whore
I’m not your trick
And I will not be subjugated or called bitch

I’m beautiful in every sense of the word

My very presence evokes passion.

I live like the verb.

I’m your EVE.
All great things come from me.

I’m a black girl
You better ask about me.

I didn't write this poem

I couldn’t write this poem because I’m empty

I asked myself where your creativity?

No metaphor. No simile.

All that’s on my mind is PhD

and the GRE

And 2 jobs

and a To Do List that reads at the top

GET MORE MONEY

And term papers, and study groups, and trying to figure out the square root of 22

And being pretty sure that my philosophy professor hates me because class starts at 10:30

And I walk in at a quarter till faithfully…

See I really am empty, I can’t write this poem

No creativity.

No metaphor. No simile.

Damn sure no alliteration

Just instigation & frustration brought on by my so-called friends here in the Sooner Nation

Who are growing constantly impatient because that can’t use me quick enough

Hey Lauren, can I get a buck

And a ride to pick my homeboy up

Or better yet, just let me use your car

Because what you do for me is how I measure how good of a friend you are

See why I can’t write this poem

See this why I am empty…lack of creativity

No metaphor, no simile,

No love story, no passion just constant clashing

Because your boyfriend thinks you’re a joke

And you best friends called you a whore

And now that you little brothers no long 4, he doesn’t look up to you any more

Add this family drama

and multiply it by how pissed off I get when people hate on Obama

and how fed up I get with Soulja Boy

and other punch line rhymers

and how angry I am to hear that my little cousin has a baby’s momma that I have no words.

No verbs no metaphors, no similes

Lack of creativity

& Life is distracting me from writing my poetry…

But then it hits me like a symbols clashing in a symphony That life is in fact a mystery, stories woven together creating a beautiful tapestry Each of which speak to the artist in me, and ignite my creativity, and propels me to use my circumstances and write this poetic testimony Through I which I plant seeds and pray that they will grow miraculously like a the rose that grew from concrete And will hopefully stand a monument to remind me that to take the time out to find the creativity. There are metaphors There are similes And I can write this poetry