Bring Your A Game

I needed to share this. Black men need a game plan. You are fathers of this Earth & you need to rule again.


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#foodforthought

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

Thought of the Day: 12.14.2010

Ambitious Girl: Thoughts on success, passion & ambition. Pt. I

#nowplaying J. Cole - “Blow Up”

If you asked me 15 years ago what I wanted to be when I grow up, and you asked me today, my answer is the same: Oprah & the President. Sucks for you if you lost your ambition.

I’ve accepted that my life plan is an unconventional one. Unlike my colleagues, I never took the college seriously. Academia never really impressed me and I’ve never equated a degree to the key to success. I’m convinced that at the end of the day my talent and ambition would carry me farther than a degree will. Thus I’ve continued through my 4 plus years of undergrad seeking the degree only as step ladder that leads up to a door where my talent and perseverance are the key.

I’ve never been able to concretely wrap my mind around the conventional successful lifestyle that everyone else seems to be so enthralled with. I don’t want to start at the bottom and work my way to the top. I’ve never desired the standard corporate job with the pension plan and benefits. I could care less about making it suburbia. You can save the mini-van, soccer games and 2.5 kids for some other woman. I’m not your Stepford wife.

I don’t mean to knock the conventional lifestyle if that’s what you want, I just want it be clear that it’s not for me. Just know that this blog is dedicated to those, in the words of J. Cole, those who are satisfied with secondary and the sister who are satisfied with secretary.

So since I’ve abandoned the “by the book” approach to success, baffling my friends who are fighting to secure entry level positions with “room for advancement”, and successfully convincing my mother that I will amount to nothing, I’ve found myself that more motivate to reach the overly ambitious goals in life I’ve set for myself. So the “ambitious girl” grind has not only become one motivated by passion, but one equally as propelled by pride. Failure is not an option.

As the dreams of an 8 year old have morphed in the 10 year plan of 22 year, I’ve realized that my personal success is a direct correlation to my happiness. Making a lot of money by any means necessary isn’t my desire in the least bit. However if wealth comes hand in hand with me living out my dreams and expressing my God given gifts, I won’t complain.

I won’t be happy unless I wear many hats.

I honestly can say I wasted too many years trying to narrow down a career path, weighing which skill was more important than the other, deciding which talent would be more lucrative than the other. And finally, I asked myself, why can’t I do it all. Wanting to be Oprah and the President has evolved into working towards being a media mogul, a publicist, a politician and activist, a motivational speaker, an author, and a CEO… bitch! (in Sean Parker Voice) . My passions equal my paycheck and will subsequently render happiness and success in my eyes.

However, the sad irony as write this exposition defying convention, I am toggling screens back and forth between it and an essay for my Women’s Studies class final. Here come’s convention creeping back in.

To be continued…

J. Cole - "Blow Up" from the mixtape Friday Night Lights

World Aids Day 2010

African Americans account for nearly half of the newly reported HIV cases in the United States

At some point in their lifetimes, 1 in 16 black men will be diagnosed with HIV infection, as will 1 in 30 black women

The rate of new HIV infection for black women was nearly 15 times as high as that of white women and nearly 4 times that of Hispanic/Latina women

protect yourself. know your status. fights aids.

Pledge your support
Find testing in your area

The Art of StoryTelling Pt. V: A Manifesto

I wrote this in 2008 for autobiographical class I was enrolled in. I think I've definitely developed as writer since I wrote this but I decided to now because the words are still so relevant to my life. I just want this do be the prequel to the series I'm doing on Ambition in the coming weeks... STAY TUNED

Manifesto: a written statement declaring publicly the intentions, motives, or views of its issue

I count four times. The first two times I tried, I didn’t go that far. Ghetto Dreams is just down the street on West Bellfort. The second time, I rode all the way to the north side of town to Dago’s. The last time, I just bailed on Kelsey, so I really can’t tell you where Addicted to Ink is. That makes four times in the past two years I’ve been to various tattoo parlors across Houston attempting to get Philippians 1:6 tattooed on my left foot. I’ve been in the chair twice and changed my mind. This is after 2 years of deciding what I wanted my tattoo to say, and a year of deciding where I wanted it.




Philippians 1:6 reads "for I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it” in the New International Version. The Message bible reads” there has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” I fell in love with the first translation my senior year in high school, and by the time I finished the year, the second translation captured my heart forever. This is when I passionately decided I wanted to tattoo my newly found axiom of life on my foot, so as I made my journey down the long road of life, the Lord can guide my path and keep me on his plan.

Ironically my fear to take the step of getting this tattoo parallels my life. As I’ve matured, I’ve begun to understand what Marianne Williamson meant when she said “our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” But I wouldn’t call what I have a fear . Fears are reserved for people who don’t like spiders or are afraid of the dark. I have a full blow horrific terror that I was destined to do a host of great things and accomplish a multitude of achievements and will fall terribly short of completing that destiny. First I fault Kanye West for the perpetuation of this fear in my life. Sometimes I can’t listen to the lyrics of his song “All Falls Down” without bursting into tears.


“Man I promise, she's so self conscious
She has no idea what she's doing in college
That major that she majored in don't make no money
But she won't drop out, her parents will look at her funny
Now, tell me that ain't insecure
The concept of school seems so secure
Sophomore three years ain’t picked a career
She like eff it, I'll just stay down here and do hair
Cause that's enough money to buy her a few pairs of new Airs
Cause her baby daddy don't really care
She's so precious with the peer pressure
Couldn't afford a car so she named her daughter Alexus (a Lexus)
She had hair so long that it looked like weave
Then she cut it all off now she look like Eve
And she be dealing with some issues that you can't believe
Single black female addicted to retail and well”
–Kanye West, “All Falls Down”



And while I’m sure thousands of college students across the country have felt like this at some point, I feel like this man has been tapping my phone calls, text message, hacking into my Facebook and reading my mind. I am that girl who barely has enough money to pay her rent, but her closet is overflowing with clothes with the tags still on them. I’m the girl who has millions of passions but cannot seem to translate them into one specific major and definitely not a career. And sadly I am the girl who has an enormous amount of talents ranging from graphic design to styling hair and really hasn’t benefited from anything.

I am what I’ve began to call the “self-conscious self-confident”. In all this I don’t get down on myself, because I am also confident in the plans God has for me, but I’m scared to death that it must just take a rapture from heaven for them to come into fruition. I think my confidence exudes from me. It’s pouring out of me in such a large amount that is often confused with arrogance. I’ve been called arrogant on many occasions by everyone; friends, former friends, and foes. I really hate the word arrogance because it’s always connected with superiority and the awful disease we know as narcissism. I am not arrogant. I don’t put myself on any pedestal on which I look down on my peers as if they are my subjects. I simply understand that greatness is hidden deep inside of all of us, and I’ve embraced the task of finding it and releasing it. So I have adopted yet another Kanye West quote as a part my self motivation.

“Some say he’s arrogant.
Can you blame him?
It was straight embarrassing how the played him.
I could let you dream killers kill my self-esteem
or I could use my arrogance as the steam to power my dreams”
– Kanye West “Last Call”



When I was about ten years old, a visiting minister at my church called me and my mother to the altar to give us a word of prophecy. He told my mother to invest in a computer for me because something great would come from my hands. His words replay in my head almost as often as my mother replayed the tape of sermon after we got home. I believe in prophetic gifts from the people of God, and I also believe in the power our words have. Thus, I’ve accepted his proclamation over my life, and I believe it.

But as I sit here typing on my mother’s investment, I am still waiting on the manifestation of those words. My beliefs are simple. I believe in the power of God. I believe that in His infinite wisdom and undying love for us that he set forth a great purpose and destiny for each of us. I believe that He works through us and therefore we have the power to fulfill that destiny. I believe that because I am made in the image and likeness of a powerful, beautiful God I am entitled to operate with all the power he has. Thus, I have to let my faith in my beliefs prove strong and continue to believe that God will be faithful to complete the great works he began in me.

So I ask myself, “who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small doesn't serve the world we are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us and as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. “-Marianne Williamson

Maybe the fifth time will be the charm.

[My] Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Your words were a hyperbole
Wrapped in passion
Magnified by lust
Masquerading as love
And I believed the exaggeration
I dreamed the larger than life fallacy in which the impossible you and me could exist
A Dark Fantasy
Instead everyday I awake to this
A sad reality

Can love not handle me?
It seems that our endeavors together always end in tragedy
And I’ve never seemed to experience its Power
Never has it been able to rapture me
But in my dreams I’ve been caught up
Engulfed in All of the Lights
And as soon as my emotions begin to take flight
I wake up
Back to living this Hell of a Life

Am I a Monster to you?
Unfit for affection
Lacking beauty
Not Gorgeous enough for your connection?
For so long you allowed me to misunderstand
With no correction
But as soon as the passionate fire begins to boil over like convection
You Runaway
Leaving me open and alone
With no protection

But because I am the dreamer I play the Blame Game with myself
Casting me as the villain
Being content with playing the role of the Devil in a New Dress
And with my mouth lies I confess
“I couldn’t haven’t the best”
“I don’t want you to settle for less”
And in my mind I am So Appalled not only by these words
But that to them you don’t even attempt to correct

And I’ve grown to expect nothing more and nothing less
Because your words are only words
Even at their best
Though they were a hyperbole
Wrapped in passion
Magnified by lust
Masquerading as love
And I still believed the exaggeration
Because I am Lost In the World
A dream world where only our love could happen
And I will continue to dream the larger than life fallacy in which the impossible you and me could exist
Because this is My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy




Needless to say, I thought the album was dope. Well more than dope, more like EPIC, actually something like a masterpiece. Hats off to Sir Kanye West.

#Nowplaying Ambition

1. Wale - “Ambitious Girl”

2. SOS Music Group featuring Nique - “Overdriven”

3. Jay Electronica featuring Jay-Z “Shiny Suit Theory”

4. Kanye West featuring Pusha T, Big Sean, Cyhi Da Prynce, J. Cole “Looking for Trouble”

5. Kanye West featuring Kid Cudi & Raekwon- Gorgeous

6.J Cole - “Premeditated Murder”

7. Jay-Z - “American Gangster (title track to American Gangster the album)”

8. J Cole - “Unabomber”

9. The Niceguys - “10,000 Hours”

10. Lupe Fiasco featuring Young Jeezy, & T.I. – “Superstar Remix”

11. Outkast – “Elevators”

12. Andre 300 – “Life and times of Andre Benjamin pt. I”

13. J Cole – “Dollar and a Dream”

14. SOS Music Group “We got this”

15. Kanye West featuring Brandy – “Bring Me Down”

16. Wale – “The Power”

17. Kanye West featuring GLC & Consequence) “Spaceship”

18. Jay-Z featuring Pharell – “So Ambitious”

19. Drake- “Fear”

20. Kanye West “I wonder”

21. Lauryn Hill “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill”

22. Drake featuring Andreena Mills- “Closer to my Dreams”

23. Kanye West - "Last Call"



SOS Music "Thought Experiment download

Eyes Wide Shut

Legs wide open
Eyes wide shut
Some things are deeper than the feeling in your gut
She’s living for the thrill of the night
Longing for something to make her body feel right
Priding herself on the area that supposedly so tight
So she stands in the spotlight every night, in every dark club
And yes, the DJ does always show her love
Cause she’s the best late night hype
She’s clothed and fitted to the tee
She’s every man’s dream
She can make you think she’s who you want to be
Supposedly, the definition of beauty, style, and class
But her fans see nothing but that ass
And it can only be assumed that good girls finish last

But her legs are wide open
And eyes wide shut
Some things are deeper than the feeling in your gut
Her body is a temple and everyone is a priest
They sit down at her table to feast
Pass a breast, pass a thigh
Worthwhile guys pass her by
But the others don’t care
They continue to contributed to the wear and tear
Never do they dare to take her home
She will never share the thrown
She is always left in a pool of herself, alone
She can’t phone home
She’s too embarrassed of all she’s done wrong
She’s scared she will be placed on the stake to burn
Their respect can never be re-earned
Now she is stuck with a scarlet letter stain
And forced to carry around the burden that is her pain

Sadly, her legs are wide open
Eyes wide shut
Some things are deeper than the feeling in your gut
Self-esteem has disappeared
Her fear in God has not been revered
Her reputation has been smeared
She is the accumulation of her worst fears
A loveless beauty
A lifeless spirit
She’s crying out and no one hears it




#nowplaying Jill Scott "Epiphany"

[black] girl pt. II

I am vanilla bean
Coffee cream
Chesnutt
Peanut butter
Caramel drop

Mocha latte
dark chocolate and everything flavor and shade in between

I am you full lipped
Thick hipped
Wide nosed with a
Booty that makes you stop and say hello

I am your bow legged
pigeon toed
Twisting my hips
Walking with a switch
Snapping my fingers and pumping my fist

I’m what they call thick

My body curves like cursive words

Evoking curse words from everybody who see it

I am your Shaniqua’s , your Cheyenne’s
Your Nefertiti’s , your Nicole’s
Your Keisha, and your Kennedy
I’m your Williams, Jacksons, Jenkins, Abdul’s, Mohammad’s, and your Winfrey’s

I’m your “that boy ain’t shhhhh!”
And “girrrrrrrl you betta quick!”

I’m your little sister
I’m your tacky auntie
I’m your best friend
I’m that other woman who took your man
I’m the grandma, I’m the cousin, I’m the baby’s mama and the child too

I’m that updo
I’m the braids
The jerri curl

The tapered fade
The natural waves
The big fro
And the hair weave that goes for days

I’m your confidant
Your sorority sister
Your hairdresser
And your favorite singer

I am that head scarf and house coat
Fitted tees & tight jeans
I’m the manicured nails
I’m driving that hoopty that never fails

And I’m pushing that range rover smelling like Chanel

I’m a dancer
I’m your cook

I’m the definition sexy,

I read and wrote the book

I’m eloquent enough for any Alpha

I’m sultry enough for any Nupe

I’m nasty enough for any Que

I’m crunk enough for any Sigma

I’m Iota radical, I coulda been a centaur too

I was your queen and your slave

I’m the great gorgeous Cleopatra

and Aunt Jemima with durags and 2 braids
I’m your forefathers who paved the way

I’m your celebrity
And your senator

I am your Oscar award winner

I’m your first lady
And the first lady
I’m the mother of earth

From my womb all nations were birthed

I’ve shed your tears
I’ve lived your fears
I am a life changer
I am the cultural re-arranger

I’m your doctor
I’m your lawyer
I’m you deep thinker
I’m your white wine drinker

I’m your ambitious girl

Forget what you’ve heard

I’m not your whore
I’m not your trick
And I will not be subjugated or called bitch

I’m beautiful in every sense of the word

My very presence evokes passion.

I live like the verb.

I’m your EVE.
All great things come from me.

I’m a black girl
You better ask about me.

I didn't write this poem

I couldn’t write this poem because I’m empty

I asked myself where your creativity?

No metaphor. No simile.

All that’s on my mind is PhD

and the GRE

And 2 jobs

and a To Do List that reads at the top

GET MORE MONEY

And term papers, and study groups, and trying to figure out the square root of 22

And being pretty sure that my philosophy professor hates me because class starts at 10:30

And I walk in at a quarter till faithfully…

See I really am empty, I can’t write this poem

No creativity.

No metaphor. No simile.

Damn sure no alliteration

Just instigation & frustration brought on by my so-called friends here in the Sooner Nation

Who are growing constantly impatient because that can’t use me quick enough

Hey Lauren, can I get a buck

And a ride to pick my homeboy up

Or better yet, just let me use your car

Because what you do for me is how I measure how good of a friend you are

See why I can’t write this poem

See this why I am empty…lack of creativity

No metaphor, no simile,

No love story, no passion just constant clashing

Because your boyfriend thinks you’re a joke

And you best friends called you a whore

And now that you little brothers no long 4, he doesn’t look up to you any more

Add this family drama

and multiply it by how pissed off I get when people hate on Obama

and how fed up I get with Soulja Boy

and other punch line rhymers

and how angry I am to hear that my little cousin has a baby’s momma that I have no words.

No verbs no metaphors, no similes

Lack of creativity

& Life is distracting me from writing my poetry…

But then it hits me like a symbols clashing in a symphony That life is in fact a mystery, stories woven together creating a beautiful tapestry Each of which speak to the artist in me, and ignite my creativity, and propels me to use my circumstances and write this poetic testimony Through I which I plant seeds and pray that they will grow miraculously like a the rose that grew from concrete And will hopefully stand a monument to remind me that to take the time out to find the creativity. There are metaphors There are similes And I can write this poetry

#shouldawentaHBCU

So I think this whole heated debate started with a couple harmless tweets about OU homecoming:

I hate that all the HBCU alum & students on my timeline are crunk about Homecoming and I can't relate

1:03 PM Oct 13th via Echofon

Today's OU homecoming festivities consisted of free fruit on the South Oval. #shouldawenttoaHBCU

1:04 PM Oct 13th via Echofon

From there, for the last week or so, I've been in conversation with #afewofmyfollowers about the idea of HBCU vs. PWI, the quality of education and the culture experience. I was shocked to learn that a lot of my peers (African American peers at that) thought that attending a PWI better prepared them for the corporate world and felt as though attending HBCU would have put them at disadvantage professionally.Some of my peers also there are only advantages that HBCU had over an PWI are social (i.e. parties, greek life etc). Needless to say, I was appalled . SOO I wanted to bring some more people into this debate because I'm sure I can't be the only one who's jaw dropped at these statements.

The Question (or questions):

1. Are PWI's better than HBCU's?

2. Does an African American student gain a better "real world" experience attending a PWI as opposed to HBCU?

3. What advantages do African American students receive from attending a PWI over an HBCU and vice versa?

You really don't have to read any further to tell me WHAT DO YOU THINK

but keep reading if you want to know what I think.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let's rewind. Before I give you my opinion, here is some background information that you should be aware of in regards to this discussion.

What is an HBCU?

An HBCU is an historically black college or university. The first HBCU's were founded after the civil war and principal mission was, and is, the education of black Americans according to Higher Education Act of 1965. Most of these institutions were founded in former slave states because the public universities in the area would not admit African American students. Though these institutions were established in the interest of African American students, enrollment in these institutions are not limited to African Americans. The term PWI refers predominately white institutions where these African American students were once denied admission to or any college or university whose Caucasian enrollment outnumbers the enrollment of any other ethnic group.

What I think:

If you as you ask me do I think predominately white institutions are better than historically black colleges and universities I will answer you with a resounding HELL NO! I will say that attending a PWI offers different academic experience, but better, I think not. Sadly, a lot of people suffer from a "just because it's white means it's better mentality". I've heard too many of OU students say "I went to OU because I want my degree to mean something" as to imply that a degree from an HBCU wouldn't hold as much weight, which is wrong in my opinion. The logical thing to do is evaluate each institution on a case by case basis. A bad school is a bad school whether it is black or white. But if you compare an academically sound PWI with an academically sound HBCU, HBCU's compete and in some cases trump PWIs.

Saying a PWI better prepares students for the "real world" better than an HBCU can is equally as outrageous as to me for many reasons, first of which is retention. An African American student is more likely to complete a 4 year degree from a HBCU than PWI. When PWI can only retain 15-20% of African American students long enough to complete a degree, how can one argue that they are more equip to prepare students from the "real world"?

I would also argue that HBCUs produce more culturally well rounded students than PWIs. Beyond the academic education HBCUs offer, the cultural education is unmatched especially for African American students who have spent their entire academic careers in predominately white enviroments. I personally feel that PWIs push African American students to assimilate as a means to succeed, but I think that's a separate discussion. In any case, the networking opportunities that HBCUs offer African Americans students have yet to be matched by PWIs... I really could go on and on, but I'm going to stop here. I really am interested to see if I stand alone in thinking this things.

WHAT DO YOU THINK

Some Extra Reading: (That I don't necessarily agree with)

http://chronicle.com/blogs/innovations/why-do-we-have-hbcus/27506?sid=at&utm_source=at&utm_medium=en

http://www.colostate.edu/Depts/SAHE/JOURNAL2/2001/Challenges.htm

Dope Music

If music was a drug, I'd smoke it all day,

get high off it's melody

blaze with it's beats

and hallucinate through metaphors

tripping out on dope beats like dope feins

with tracks marked by the streets

If music was a drink, I'd stay drunk off my ass

throwing up lyrics

and pour more entendres in my glass

woozy with the head phones like a drunk with no class

punchlines like doubleshots

hooks like long necks

16 bars like 16 bottles in VIP with reserved tables, sections, and stars

If music was sex, I'd probably be a hoe

and I'd keep coming back to it begging and begging for more

new players

new positions

new potentials

trying to decide if I like it better when it's complex or simple

volume erections followed by

instant eargasisms

3 to 5 minutes of extacy

satisfaction, never leaving disappointing me

If music was love, I definitely be head over heels

public displays of affection translated by labels of parental discretion

the one four threes, the L-O-V-Es

over taking

controlling

and addicting me to

Dope Music.

#ThingsIveLearned Pt.II

#ThingsIveLearned You can't expect somebody do something you aren't willing to do yourself

#ThingsIveLearned To be comfortable being uncomfortable

#ThingsIveLearned That you can't change people, you can really only work on yourself

#ThingsIveLearned To let the PAST stay in the PAST

#ThingsIveLearned People are strategically placed in your life for reasons & seasons. Stop messing with the timing.

#ThingsIveLearned Jealousy is a weak emotion, rooted in insecurities.

#ThingsIveLearned ACTIONS speak louder than WORDS

#ThingsIveLearned You can't replace quality people. You just find cheap imitations

#ThingsIveLearned You cannot run from your destiny

#ThingsIveLearned If you brand yourself, people will buy into it

#ThingsIveLearned I am my own best critic

#ThingsIveLearned Change is the only consistent thing in life.

#ThingsIveLearned It truly is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all

#ThingsIveLearned Distance does make the heart grow fonder

#ThingsIveLearned Sometimes its better to listen to you heart than your head

#ThingsIveLearned Everybody is NOT worthy of your friendship

#ThingsIveLearned To lean not on my own understanding

#ThingsIveLearned Being alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely

#ThingsIveLearned Not to settle for less than I'm worth

#ThingsIveLearned To be comfortable with not being well liked as long as I'm respected

#ThingsIveLearned To challenge authority

#ThingsIveLearned To listen to that small still voice

#ThingsIveLearned You are as beautiful as you feel

#ThingsIveLearned God don't make no mistakes....

Cooked Crack: Arrogant Images

Photoshop...my second love

#nowplaying Summer 20ten

#nowplaying

1. “All I Do Is Win (remix)”- DJ Khaled & everybody and their mama
2. “Miss Me”- Drake featuring Lil Wayne
3. “Set Me Free”- Lloyd featuring Mystikal
4. “Bet I Bust”- B.O.B.
5. “Lose My Mind (remix)”- Young Jeezy featuring Drake
6. “I’m Looking For Ya”- Big Boi & Andre 3000 featuring Sleepy Brown
7. “Up All Night”- Drake featuring Nicki Minaj
8. “Blowing Money Fast”- Rick Ross
9. “I’m Back”- T.I.
10. “I’m Beaming”- Lupe Fiasco
11. “Shutterbug”- Big Boi
12. “Who Dat”- J. Cole
13. “Studio Lovin”- Wiz Khalifa
14. “Live Fast, Die Young”- Rick Ross featuring Kanye West
15. “Power”- Kanye West featuring Dwele
16. “Higher”- J.Cole
17. “Jump Up In The Air (Stay There)”- Erykah Badu featuring Lil Wayne
18. “All I Want Is You”- Miguel featuring J. Cole
19. “Fall In Love”- Estelle featuring Nas & John Legend
20. “Repercussions”- Lauryn Hill
21. “Closer”- Corrine Bailey Rae
22. “Turn Me Away (Get Munny)”- Erykah Badu
23. “Maybach Music III”- Rick Ross featuring T.I. & Erykah Badu
24. “Free Mason”- Rick Ross featuring Jay-Z
25. “Unforgettable”- Drake featuring Young Jeezy
26. “Premeditated Murder”- J. Cole
27. “Contemplate”- Wale featuring Rihanna
28. “Fear”- Drake
29. “90210”- Wale
30. “Light Up”- Drake ft. Jay-Z
31. “Out My Mind, Just In Time”- Erykah Badu
32. “Ambitious Girl”- Wale

In Between Pt 1

In between
Limbo
Hanging in the balancing
Awaiting sentencing sort of thing
Vastly surround and encamped by nothing

Hard part is being stuck next to the rock in between that other thing

In between jobs
In between weeks
Stuck with in between people
In between sheets
In between lies
Bouncing back and for in between lows and highs
Sliding down a slippery slope of the unknown
Again in limbo
Lost, on pause, and postponed.

See between me and you, in between has me wondering through bad situations, wrong paths and uncertain things.

In between is one side of wrong and the other side of right
On the left of being in the middle of it all
And to right of lonely nights
Stuck in a web
Caught in the moment
Trapped in thoughts
Lost in emotions
And captured with words.
Subject no verb

In between
Limbo
Hanging in the balancing
Awaiting sentencing sort of thing
Vastly surround and encamped by nothing

But between is open
Unconnected
Undistracted
Stationary
Vulnerable

and in a place of expecting...

My [Projects]

You can find us beyond the urine filled elevators and up the graffiti tagged staircases. Journey pass the crack heads itching and drug dealers pitching. Walk around Bae-Bae’s kids and ignore the baby momma drama, and you’ll find us on the roof probably rocking paraphernalia that says something about Obama. Reflecting and thinking, maybe blowing square, as we sit up there, the masters of these projects, the many towering volumes of these unseen dreams, working and perfecting our craft as the superintendents of our personal self-esteem, speaking on visions of our lives and the world that only we’ve seen.

These are the projects of DJ “what’s his name” and MC “such and such” standing in his bedroom spitting his life and rhymes into a borrowed laptop for his myspace following, while he’s following his dreams as far open mics and talent shows can take em. Talent bubbling in his heart, confined, trying to break him. “Hip Hop Saved my Life” becomes his anthem, as Lupe paints this picture that only he can truly fathom. He spits his words over other somebody else’s beat. He and his boys are the street teams. They pound the pavements carrying their message with their feet. No grind no shine is on repeat in his mind. He refuses to trade it all for catchy beat and hook that rhymes. Instead he keeps broadcasting the reality of these hard times, a prose of sort that just so happens to rhyme.

These are the projects of the descendants of great thinkers, the baby Einsteins, the black Aristotles, the brown Socrates, the mini Cornell Wests writing their ghetto dissertations expressing their disgust with the current state of this supposedly united nation. Right fists in the air, middle finger to the law, words of fire being spit from their jaw; lawless, powerful, revolutionary rhetoric, message of truth directly from the few who are willing to tell it. They are street philosophers, uncertified hood doctors, professors of life, whose accomplishments include their knowledge of the lay man’s strife. Their words that brew within give us the audacity of hope, the boldness to dream, and the constant reminders that we are not forever slaves, but in fact the children of kings.

These are the projects of the engineers of the new millennium renaissance who pour the richness of their hearts out on the page. They live by Shakespeare’s words. They are the players and all the world is a stage. Their imagination runs wild painting vivid pictures of men, women, and every child. Their arsenal includes endless notebooks and journals, novels and memoirs of high literary merit, locked in loaded, but tucked in drawer like a pistol with no opportunity to share it. They are forever romanticizing the endless possibilities of existence by creating beautiful metaphors about the depths of the human spirit.

These are the projects of the great Spanish Harlem artists, the coffee shop designers, the runway hair gurus, the inspirers of Alvin Alley, the mo better blues saxophonist, the Spike Lees before do the right thing, the Alicias looking for their keys, the producers with the Kanye beats, the seventeen year old senators, the away from the pulpit ministers who all dwell in these in these projects, sitting on the rooftop looking out on the cities of their dreams.

They ignore their surroundings, send their minds past the defiling stench of their neighborhood, shake off the strongholds of ghetto mentalities and defy the status quo. Yes, you can find us beyond the urine filled elevators and up the graffiti tagged staircases. Journey pass the crack heads itching and drug dealers pitching. Walk around Bae-Bae’s kids and ignore the baby momma drama, and you’ll find us on the roof probably rocking paraphernalia that says something about Obama.

We’re writing songs of the revolution, painting murals of the new black man, writing poems about our aspirations and preaching to anybody who can understand. We are the forgotten youth, the unsigned hype, the literate blacks using the power to read and write. You can find us sitting on top of our projects, reflecting and thinking, maybe blowing square, as we sit up there, the masters of these projects, the many towering volumes of these unseen dreams, working and perfecting our craft as the superintendents of our personal self-esteem, speaking on visions of our lives and the world that only we’ve seen.

#thingsIveLearned

#thingsIvelearned Being bitter makes you unattractive

#thingsIvelearned men are only act like dogs when women accept being a bitch

#thingsIvelearned being a hoe is about more than having sex. A lot of "hoes" just don't respec themselves

#thingsIvelearned 90% of people 18-24 don't even know what commitment is. That's why their relationships fail

#thingsIvelearned People spend so much time trying to be something they are not, they lose quality of life

#thingsIvelearned to be feel sorry for people who are maliciously messy. They usually lead sad lives, that's y they are in your business

#thingsIvelearned life is too short to be worried about who likes you & who don't. I like me...who cares what you think

#thingsIvelearned the difference between love & lust

#thingsIvelearned to not be judgement & find the good in everybody...even your enemies

#thingsIvelearned friendship is overrated

#thingsIvelearned A lot of people are just confused about life & aimlessly doing stupid shit

#thingsIvelearned everybody fucks up. That's not important. What's important is how u recover from a fuck up

#thingsIvelearned sometime even I need to shut up & listen

#thingsIvelearned never to burn bridges. U never know who can help you when

#thingsIvelearned to forgive people who fuck over me.

#thingsIvelearned to smile

#thingsIvelearned to give without expecting something in return

#thingsIvelearned how to be a blessing to be other people

#thingsIvelearned to joke about serious stuff...it makes life simpler

#thingsIvelearned to keep certain things to myself

#thingsIvelearned to be selective about who I allow to get close to me... male & female

#thingsIvelearned knowledge really is power

#thingsIvelearned jealousy is rooted in insecurity

#thingsIvelearned how not be a hater

#thingsIvelearned how to love my haters in spite of their hating

#thingsIvelearned the world is bigger than black people

#thingsIvelearned everybody has a vice

#thingsIvelearned not to judge drunks

#thingsIvelearned if everybody agrees with what you are doing, you must not be doing doing something right

#thingsIvelearned good leaders face persecution. Look at Jesus

#thingsIvelearned prayer WORKS!

#thingsIvelearned to take everything with grain of salt

#thingsIvelearned to guard my thoughts & emotions

#thingsIvelearned how to think like a man & act like a lady (and no, steve harvey didn't teach me that)

#thingsIvelearned to party!

#thingsIvelearned to seek advice from qualified people

#thingsIvelearned not to be easily influenced & to think for myself

#thingsIvelearned its good to be DIFFERENT

#thingsIvelearned If I put God FIRST everything, & I do mean everything will fall into place.